God does have a lot to say in His word about sexual relationships and relationships in general. God puts a high value on marriage and keeping the marriage bed undefiled. (Hebrews 13). Paul gives instructions in the book of Ephesians on husband/wife relationships. Peter also has some insights he gives on this same topic.
What is interesting though, is that there are no directives for male spouses to male spouses. There is no indication that males are to marry other males, or females are to marry other females. In fact, the Bible doesn't indicate anywhere that people have a certain sexual orientation that they were created to follow.
We see in the first chapter of Romans where people who have turned their backs on God have become totally distorted. Another word is 'perverted' which means that 'turned from what is right' according to an internet dictionary. It has the connotation of being twisted. One of the results of turning our backs on God is to have abnormal desires. Homosexuality is named as one of those desires. But not everyone who is Gay is necessarily one who has turned their back on God and is in this perverted state because of doing so. Many Gay people have been violated sexually during their childhood. Some were traumatized by what happened to them, and they never were able to develop a normal, healthy understanding of sexuality. Yet others, really do not want to be Gay. If they could have gotten rid of the desire, they would have chosen to be straight.
What has happened to make this Gay community in America so strong and defensive? One of the things that has happened is that the church does not understand the nature of the sinful temptation to homosexuality. Much of the church does not understand about original sin, nor does the church know how to help others who struggle with sin to be free from sin. Many hold a Pelgian view, which basically tells people to repent (which means to 'stop sinning') and expects people to stop whatever their obvious sins are (like homosexuality or stealing). Pelagians do not understand the sinful heart, which is underlying the behavior of the person. Nor does Pelagianism understand the struggle every person has with sin. Pelgians typically believe they are capable of keeping the commandments, and others are capable as well (after all, Jesus wouldn't tell us to obey the commandments if we weren't able to keep them, would He?) This whole belief system has wreaked havoc in the church, and in the church's ability to reach a lost and dying world.
I see Pelagianism in many circles of Christians, although many of them would profess to be reformed. It is a belief that a person can stop sinning at will. He or she can choose to stop sinning. When a Gay person is desiring to turn to God, he or she may be told that their act must be cleaned up before they can come to God. But that is exactly the reason we turn to God. We turn to God because we cannot free ourselves from sin. Many are enslaved to sin. Yet, they are hindered so many times by the church, to come to God. They are accused of being unrepentant.
How does this tie in with the Gay community? Like I said, many Gay people do not want to be Gay. But there is such a strong desire in them that they can't be free from. They need to find a church they can trust, who really will help them to be free from their bondage. If not, they will create their own religion to protect themselves from what they can't be free from. They will hang onto it.
People don't change when you scold them for being bad. People don't change when you nag or make fun of them, with the hopes that the nagging or name calling with cause them to change. People will change when they see an alternative for what they have. It's like the 'lamb chop theory' that David Wilkerson's grandfather came up with. In his day, women used to come to the church meeting wearing ribbons in their hats. If they wanted to be saved, the pastor would cut the ribbons on the hat. A tract was also designed called, 'How do you think you can get to heaven with so many ribbons on your head?' But David Wilkerson's grandfather changed his mind about that. He gave the illustration of a dog running with a bone in its mouth. He explained that you don't take the bone out of the dog's mouth. You simply offer him a better bone, like a lamb chop. When he sees the lamb chop, he will gladly take that and drop the other bone.
As we live out our lives, in the power of the Holy Spirit, overflowing with the love of God, we can properly minister to the Gay person. If we spend out time yelling Bible verses that say that God will punish them, and call them names, we will lose them. Any communication we would have with them will be gone. How can we minister the Gospel if we are making fun of people?
Ministering to the Gay person is not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. It will take a long time to walk through the process of helping the person understand what the Scriptures say about immorality and we must be there when he or she is tempted to go back into it. The lying voices are strong and they will seek to persuade the Gay person to believe that God created him or her with those orientations and that he or she should live out those desires. God did not make the person that way. God is a God of order and He made people male and female. Only males marry females. God did not design any males to marry or have sexual relationships with males.
It's really up to the church to 1. hold the standard of right and wrong, good and evil, and 2. minister the grace of God to those who are willing to repent and turn to God. Those who repent and trust in Jesus will begin the sanctification process, which will in turn help them to be freed from their sins.
We can ignore people who need help. If we continue to ignore, or mistreat people because they are Gay, we can look forward to hearing statements like the one in the title of this message. But if we are willing to get on our knees, and look at our own hearts, and let God clean us up and change us, we can give this hope to others, and what happens in the church will ultimately affect what happens in society. Then we will no longer need to be concerned about being introduced to Mr. and Mr. John Doe, on their wedding day.
