Tension Between Homosexuality And The Church

  I am writing this article because there is so much tension and misunderstandings in the church when in comes to issues of sin, and in this case, homosexuality.
   How do we handle this situation from the standpoint of the church? How have we handled it in the past, and how can we learn from our mistakes?
  First, we all need to agree on the authority of the Scriptures and what they tell us when it comes to right and wrong, good and evil, light and darkness, and, truth and error. We need to know what the Scriptures say to us, and we need to be careful when it comes to the many doctrines floating around, to be discerning enough to know what is truth and how to separate it from the lies.
  Homosexuality, from what we read in Scriptures, is sin. Both Old Testament and New Testament talk about this sin, and how God will punish this sin, along with all other sins, one day in judgment.
  Homosexuality isn't new, nor is 'coming out of the closet', although in American History, we could say that coming out of the closet is more recent, because the standard has always been, 'marriage is made up of one woman and one man'. There was shame in being Gay, at one time. Now that Gay people can come out of the closet, and that psychologists are telling their patients that they were born with a sexual orientation that they cannot change, even if they wanted to, the Gay person believes he is living in freedom without guilt and can pursue his long, faithful, sexual desires. Not only that, but the church has been negligent in reaching out to these people, and some church authorities actually have said that the Gay community should be exterminated.
  Gay people lump themselves with blacks and Jews who have been discriminated against, throughout History. They see themselves as victims of bigotry and they believe that they are designed and destined to be Gay, even though they never chose their orientation. Society has fed them lies, along with the lies of the devil to keep them from being delivered from homosexuality.
   As David Powlison (CCEF) would ask, "How can we help?" What can the church do to change this tide of lies that is keeping thousands upon thousands in bondage?
   Let's look at some of the attitudes of the church in the middle of the 20th Century. People made fun of Gays. There was name calling. Churches didn't respond to people when they found out they were Gay. I learned a lot of things from Mel White's book, 'Stranger At The Gate'. I would recommend to anyone who wants to find out how a 'Christian' Gay person thinks, to read this book. It is very detailed and Mel White gives tons of examples of things that were said or happened to him throughout his life, along with his fears. He describes his relationship with Christian men, such as Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Billy Graham, D. James Kennedy, and James Dobson. These men, although very effective in their own particular ministries, were hostile to homosexuals. After many years, Mel White sent them letters telling them that he was Gay, and wanting to provide an opportunity to get with them to discuss homosexuality. Not one responded back. Not even a reply indicating that they were sorry but wouldn't be able to make that appointment. This is where the church went wrong. We were so strong on pointing out why homosexuality is a sin, but failed to help the homosexual to see his sin so he could repent. Our silence basically said that we don't want to have anything to do with them.
   Homosexuals are people who, like us, are created in God's image, but the image is marred because of sin. I think, without realizing it, we might think that these people are less than human. We might think that if we punish them by our silence, they will get the hint and either go away or repent. Or, we could just be afraid or ignorant. We don't know what to do. Would you know what to do if someone in the church confided in you and told you his secret sin of homosexuality? Would you know what to say to him? Would you show him love or would you put him at a distance? Do we really believe that Gay people can repent and be saved? Our response to them shows what we believe about them.
   I don't want to go into too much detail on this letter, but a lesbian wrote a letter to the church, and it is reprinted and published by Hunter Baker, on the Gospel Coalition's web site.Gospel Coalition - Lesbian Letter to the Church
  I would encourage you to read this. I understand that this person doesn't have a clear understanding of the Gospel yet, but, she is honest in admitting what she sees in the church today, concerning the way homosexuals and lesbians are treated. Listed here are some questions this lady asks. Notice her admission of the church not giving hope to Gays.
"When the word “homosexual” is mentioned in the church, we hold our breaths and sit in fear. Most often this word is followed with condemnation, laughter, hatred, or jokes. Rarely do we hear any words of hope. At least we recognize our sin. Does the church as a whole see theirs? Do you see the sin of pride, that you are better than or more acceptable to Jesus than we are? Have you been Christ-like in your relationships with us? Would you meet us at the well, or restaurant, for a cup of water, or coffee? Would you touch us even if we showed signs of leprosy, or aids? Would you call us down from our trees, as Christ did Zacchaeus, and invite yourself to be our guest? Would you allow us to sit at your table and break bread? Can you love us unconditionally and support us as Christ works in our lives, as He works in yours, to help us all to overcome?"
  She, like all other people we try to share the Gospel with, can detect our hypocrisy. Can we look at the logs in our own eyes and take them out (deal with our own sins first) so we can help others to see their sin? Do you see the sin of pride, that she is seeing? Everyone of us has pride, and each of us individually does not usually see our own pride. We can see the sins of others clearly, but we can't see our own. 
   Can we love these people unconditionally and would we go out with them for coffee, or are we afraid of getting AIDS? Or, are we afraid of what other Christians might think of us if they see us associating with a Gay person? 
  If we did treat people with respect (not only Gays, but all lost people), and if we cared for others properly, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them would come to know the Lord. Gay people could be set free and delivered. Those who sat in darkness would now be able to live in the light. Society would feel the positive effects of the love of the church.
  One more thing to consider; I think we put the cart before the horse. I never knew what that phrase meant until now. I believe the general, evangelical, church today believes that we have to come clean before God before we can be saved. Many Christians believe that repenting involves the action of the stopping of sin in our lives. We all agree that God will judge sin, and that sin separates man from God, and people do need to repent when they come to Christ, but we can't 'stop sinning'. When a person comes to Christ, he or she has the grace to say 'no' to sin, but that comes as a person walks with God and grows in faith. It is not the requirement before we come to God. As C.J. Mahaney says, 'The only thing I can bring to the Cross is my sin'. Yes, we do let go of those sins as we are being saved. God gives us new hearts with new desires, and His Holy Spirit lives inside us and gives us the power to say no to temptation. It is God's will for us to be saved and free from sin, but we can't do it ourselves. To me, it looks like many in the church, including church leaders, have this belief that we need to 'stop sinning' and come to Christ in order to be saved.
   What would that look like for a Gay person? He probably has prayed thousands of times for God to take the desire away from him. At first, he really didn't want to be Gay. But after years of having this desire, and having the fear of reprisal from the church, he stayed in his closet until it was ok to come out. It was ok to come out when psychologists told him that he was disobeying God by not following the desires he was created with. So, the Gay person hears a message that tells him to repent. He tries. He's tried that over and over again. The church won't have anything to do with him and treat him like a leper. How can we change?
   Can you see the struggle? The church treats him like a leper. The devil keeps him bound with lies. He is desperate because he really doesn't want to be Gay, but the church says he is unrepentant, because if he truly repented, he wouldn't be Gay anymore. 
  How far should the church go to extend hospitality to this man (or woman)? Obviously, it is not good to allow the Gay person membership in the body of Christ at this point. I remember a woman who was joining our church, who was living with her boyfriend. During the church interview, they told her that she would have to not live with her boyfriend anymore if she wanted to be a member. That is not exclusiveness. If the church believes in the sanctity of marriage, and purity of relationships between men and women, then allowing a person who is living in a relationship that is forbidden in the Bible to join the church, would be hypocrisy. It is the same way with homosexuality. If a person is living in homosexual relationships, and if the church is aligned with the Bible, then a homosexual should not be allowed to be a member of that body. That is ok. Nothing wrong with that. That is not rejection. We need to be there to help these people come to their senses. We also want them to be free to be honest and not feel like they have to hide anything from us. Simply speaking, we need to show the love of Christ to them, with the hopes that they will come to know the Lord in repentance and faith.

"But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?

And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? There is a way?
Lyrics from <a href="http://www.elyrics.net">eLyrics.net</a>" Casting Crowns

"Jesus Friend of sinners we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to
swing
Jesus friend of sinners the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided"
Lyrics from <a href="http://www.elyrics.net">eLyrics.net</a>

Are you a sinner? Did Jesus befriend you? Shouldn't you befriend other sinners?